Freitag
I’ve taken the day off to get my house in order for the dirklings’ visit. I always get antsy when they’re about to arrive. They live with their mother for most of the time, spending summers and the occasional break with me. Christmas is different, my ex and I agreed that we should all have Christmas together. I’ve seen enough of that drama played out in airports, McDonald’s and Zoos. Weekend parents, usually fathers. They look guilty, or sad maybe is a better way to describe it. It’s a look of pain, and regret and trying not to let on too much. It stains the time they do have together. The kids are hip to it, and they’re trying to keep an even keel, because they have to juggle their parents, looking forward to seeing one, while having to leave the other. This is, for the most part, the only life they’ve known.
People regret things they haven’t done more that the things they have. These weekenders try, and that’s the important part.
I’m noticing more and more parents have that look and they’re still married. Their kids are so active, and both parents work, so there’s simply no time.
Mine is the generation that had to deal with the fallout of the Divorce Boom of the sixties and seventies. People had to me; whoever that was, and didn’t stay together. My parents only divorced after the kids were out of school. I was the only one among my friends who had the original set of parents. That might explain a lot of the resurgence in concepts like polyamory, and having a tight circle of friends, and loose affiliations with one’s birth family.
I personally feel that I’ve failed my children because I couldn’t keep things together. My daughter wasn’t old enough to remember me living with her, due to work and school schedules. My son, however, is another story. He’s dealt with things quite well, but I’ll never forget him tapping my ex-wife’s leg and speaking on my behalf in the language of a two year old “Daddy not bad, not bad.” It makes me wonder if the other Weekenders relive those moments as often as I seem to?
He was also sound asleep when we’d argue; fortunately they never saw any of that. I was going crazy at the time, with all the stress of family and school. Literally crazy. There’s no other way to describe it.
I don’t blame anyone, save myself sometimes, and things have worked out fine.
Divorce means making the compromises you couldn’t or wouldn’t do while you were married. Time and distance seems to have evened things out, and aside from a few lifestyle differences, we agree on the fundamentals of rearing the kids. I see that as having them multicultural. Now, instead of two parents, they have three.
It could always be worse, and everyone involved knows it.
People regret things they haven’t done more that the things they have. These weekenders try, and that’s the important part.
I’m noticing more and more parents have that look and they’re still married. Their kids are so active, and both parents work, so there’s simply no time.
Mine is the generation that had to deal with the fallout of the Divorce Boom of the sixties and seventies. People had to me; whoever that was, and didn’t stay together. My parents only divorced after the kids were out of school. I was the only one among my friends who had the original set of parents. That might explain a lot of the resurgence in concepts like polyamory, and having a tight circle of friends, and loose affiliations with one’s birth family.
I personally feel that I’ve failed my children because I couldn’t keep things together. My daughter wasn’t old enough to remember me living with her, due to work and school schedules. My son, however, is another story. He’s dealt with things quite well, but I’ll never forget him tapping my ex-wife’s leg and speaking on my behalf in the language of a two year old “Daddy not bad, not bad.” It makes me wonder if the other Weekenders relive those moments as often as I seem to?
He was also sound asleep when we’d argue; fortunately they never saw any of that. I was going crazy at the time, with all the stress of family and school. Literally crazy. There’s no other way to describe it.
I don’t blame anyone, save myself sometimes, and things have worked out fine.
Divorce means making the compromises you couldn’t or wouldn’t do while you were married. Time and distance seems to have evened things out, and aside from a few lifestyle differences, we agree on the fundamentals of rearing the kids. I see that as having them multicultural. Now, instead of two parents, they have three.
It could always be worse, and everyone involved knows it.
posted by mediavore at
11:17 AM
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