I'd like to thank the academy

Thank you. To all my teachers, to my fellow students, to the Academy, my lovely wife, who stood beside me this whole time. To my kids who had no clue that I had struggled the way I did with class, but had a fun time here during their spring break with me, even though I was still in class.

I sent out about a dozen thank you emails in the past 24 hours. To pretty much everyone I worked with these past few months in school.

I was always taught that it's just what you do. I'm not being dishonest or obsequious in any way. People need to know that their work was appreciated, whether or not at the time I felt that way. I know I'm not the easiest person to live with, I've had to put up with me for years now.

I was reminded of some of the challenges I faced this term by going through my notes and my day planner. Thing that was important for me to remember when the times had become hard was that people were depending on me. Neither failure nor defeat is an option, I have a wife & kids who need me.

In interviews, most people who had committed great acts of bravery or heroism usually respond along the lines of 'well, I had to do something.'

Edgar Rice Burroughs summed it up in his 1st Warlord of Mars books, The Princess of Mars

"I do not believe that I am made of the stuff which constitutes heroes, because, in all of the hundreds of instances that my voluntary acts have placed me face to face with death, I cannot recall a single one where any alternative step to that I took occurred to me until many hours later. My mind is evidently so constituted that I am subconsciously forced into the path of duty without recourse to tiresome mental processes."

I've also heard the adage "A hero is a coward who got cornered"

I've also heard of this as a state of Zen, where the mind and action become one. the followers of the Way (Do) of the Warrior (Bushi) trained all their lives for that type of state, so that they could meet death as an honored guest.

Which is truly a beautiful thing until you realize that when the samurai and Bushido really flowered in the 15th century or so onwards, after the Tokugawa Shogunate (warlords) unified Japan and made it a peaceful country and cut off all trade with the outside world. essentially turning in upon itself. A sort of spiritual and cultural incest took place. What does a warrior do when there is no warfare?

Make no mistake. I do not consider anything I did these past several months extraordinary in any way. No, I know someone who deserves that distinction.

My father made a comment to my cousin while he was alive in LA. He said his children had been raised, and that he was done. His health had been deteriorating and he'd had a crippling case of arthritis for over twenty years. When I last visited him, he was in the hospital, his body wracked with pneumonia, and shutting down, but for some reason he held on.

I told him I'd miss him, but he had nothing to fear. He could let go. I thanked him for being a good father, and for showing me how to be one. I also thanked him for letting my kids know their daddy was once a kid too.

My brother flew in from Ohio and paid him a similar visit.

It's what you do.

After he appeared to get better, the apparatus of modern medicine was pulled away, he could eat without a tube, no more respirator, etc.. One night he had dinner with his youngest daughter, said goodbye, and that he loved her.

He died in his sleep that night. It's just the way he did things, no drama, no fanfare, just a quick and quiet exit.

I don't believe in any gods or higher powers. I also don't believe in any eternal reward, but I'm also comforted by the fact that there is no eternal punishment either.

You are born, you live, and eventually you die. Everything that happens in between is up to you.

It's just what you do that's important.